Binhi sang Pagtuo
February 15, 2010
Dear Centralians and Friends,
Greetings from the campus!
As part of the Valentines Day celebration, here is a reflection on relationships.*
Bring your own uniqueness into the relationship. Do not lose your identity. In the first place, it is the distinctiveness of the person that you fell in love with.
When two different individuals bring their own personality in a relationship it is bound to clash. Do not avoid it. Embrace your differences. Listen to one another. When you do, there will be a creative tension that will blossom into harmony.
When loving, do not drown out the person with your own style of doing things. Molding the person the way you wanted him/her to be will result to resentment. It will eventually suffocate your loved one, and drive him/her away. Instead, allow the person to grow in his/her own pace and time. Give him/her space. Challenge him/her to be what God wants him/her to be. And love him/her for who he/she is.
Remember that you said “I do” for better and for worst. You cannot choose only one. There will be ups and downs. You hope for better days but bad days will surely come. And sometimes it comes in bundles. Be ready for it. Anticipate it. When it comes, be patient and think first before you say something, because if not, you will regret later that you have said those words.
For men, keep in mind the moodswings of a woman before their menstrual cycle. Oftentimes you cannot understand why a woman is easily angered and impatient. It is her biological makeup. Accept it with understanding and grace.
For women, do not ask men their opinion if you already have your own. If the opinion raised is opposite with each other, a woman will usually sulk and be in a bad mood for a number of days. This is when things get out of hand sometimes because a man cannot understand what in the world have he done to make the woman angry. He just voiced out his opinion that she asked in the first place. A man should watch out for this, and weigh his answer before voicing it out.
Lastly, give God a room in your relationship. If God is outside of it, then your relationship is bound to be selfish, and just centered on the two you. If God is there, your relationship is bound to be a blessing to others. It is because you always think and act on what is pleasing to God and loving to others. Be a channel of God’s bounty and love!
May God bless us all!
Sincerely,
Pastor Francis Neil G. Jalando-on
Assistant Chaplain
* I gave this reflection as a piece of advice to a couple that got married last December 2009.
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